Hey y’all!
I hope some of you tried out my yummy jambalaya recipe I posted recently. I did! Mmmm, talk about some serious Comfort food (pun intended, haha). So, to all you mama’s out there…schools out! How do you feel about that? I’m ready for school to start again. It’s only been a week and so far I’ve been told “No” 357 times, I’ve been asked 4,000 questions, I’ve gone to the pool, the park, and everywhere in between. I forgot how much my time alone during school means to me.
I’ve been taking college classes online and I use the quiet time to get my work done…and usually do blog stuff, but I’m in full on lazy girl mode. I don’t know what my issue is…I’m just a big pile of mopey, lazy, Netflix watching bones. However, I’m about to be childless for a couple weeks and though I’m looking forward to it…it terrifies me at the same time. I’ve got anxiety, irrational thoughts, and concerns that are totally ridiculous; I know I’m going to miss that little monster terribly. When Hot Sauce goes out of town, Chris and I mope past his room…as if somehow he may magically appear. It’s pretty pathetic and super cute at the same time. I’m thankful for our kiddos and the time we get to spend with them. I’m also thankful for our alone time…I think we find a decent balance, and that is extremely important in a healthy relationship.
Someone asked me the other day how kids affect a relationship, and what you can do to keep each other happy. I’m no marriage counselor, however, some of the best relationships I have had the honor to witness in my lifetime have always put their marriage first and their children second. This might sound crazy to you, but it doesn’t to me, I get it. Maybe I understand because I’ve seen it, but these people that live this way have had some of the happiest and healthiest relationships I have ever seen, and their kids are wonderful as well. The gift in this is that they have been a healthy and loving example to their children…who are one day going to leave the nest and find a love of their own, someone that they are going to put first. It’s a priceless gift to demonstrate to your children to never settle. You hear people say that they are, “staying together for the kids”, but really if two people are unhappy and staying together anyways, it’s only hurting the kids and the two people that are miserable together. I know this is random, but it’s food for thought and I’m a very random person.
Life may not always turn out perfect and the way you planned it in your head and in your dreams, but it will end up the way it’s supposed to…if you just never give up. There may be rough drafts, failures, or mistakes - but in the end, what you will realize is that even though these situations we face can be painful, imperfect, and upsetting - they are all chances to learn and grow. I’ve realized it’s time to stop looking backward, because as much as I want to erase the majority of my past, I can’t…it’s not an option. I choose to look at today and all the blessings that have found their way to me and most of all, I think about my greatest blessing, my fiance, Chris. Chris is what makes all the scars and pain worth it, because if one thing was different maybe I wouldn’t have met him and that I just couldn’t fathom. I’d go through hell all over again as long as it always brought me back to him.
I’ve got a bad habit of dwelling on the past, wanting to change history, and most of all wanting to know Why, Why, Why? Why did this is or that happen to me, what did I do to deserve these terrible things, and again why? I’ll never find the answers to why, and even if I did know why, those answers would never be good enough. So, what now? Let go. It’s time to let it all go. Nothing erases history, death, abuse, or pain. Nothing. It’s time to wake up, roll out of bed, and make the rest of my life beautiful. The days are going to pass with or without us - and I don’t know about you, but I want to be part of the magic that still exists in this world. I found my person and he never lets me fail. Sometimes I fall on my face, but he picks me up and never lets me fail. I’m not perfect, but I cherish and adore him more than he will ever know, more than I can ever say.
Cherish life…the good and the bad. Take time to love yourself and the ones around you. Life is precious, short, and painful - but what I promise is this, in the end it will all have been worth it. Do not give up, no matter what, do not give up!
Sending you love, light, and happiness.
K
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