Hi all,

I’m up ridiculously early this morning, thanks to my crazy loud neighbor. I’m pretty grouchy about it, but I’m going to try to turn it around…at least now I have a head start on the day and get to drink coffee a whole hour earlier than usual! Yay, me!

I really want to try and get back into the habit of letting things go, not caring so much, and just being relaxed. It seems like for the past few years I haven’t been myself - I have been on this roller coaster of ups and downs of emotions. I have totally forgot who I am. It is kind of a scary and overwhelming place for me - I feel out of control sometimes. I have felt this constant tension in my body, where it feels like every muscle and nerve is pulled as tight as possible. It puts me on edge. I feel like I cannot make a solid decision to save my life and even when I do, I second guess it. I wake up feeling like no one understands me - hell I don’t understand me. I have had overwhelming feelings of loneliness and I think I finally know why, because I don’t recognize myself anymore, I don’t know how to be myself, I don’t know where I fit in or belong. [Read more...]